Everyone feels a little "vs. the World" at some point

And that is where I think "Scott Pilgrim vs. The World" finds its strength-- dealing with exes, one's own feelings, and all that other Lifetime Movie Network stuff in the real world feels like a struggle, so why not turn it into the ultimate nerd fantasy of arcade-game combat with super-powered exes? That's charm right there guys, and that's what keeps the movie afloat. Edgar Wright did his best with someone else's story and MIchael Cera's inertial screen presence (meaning that he always plays Michael Ceera), and he came away with a pretty good movie. It's certainly visually stimulating, with lots of comic book word-effects to accompany Scott's actions and a bright color palate, and there are some really fun actors at work (the gay roomie, the drummer girl and Young Neil were all quite appealing to me), but at the same time the whole story kind of boils down to this metaphor of combat as a form of dealing with things and typical awkward/quirky humor. But I only say these things because I have a great deal of respect for everyone involved and think that things could have gone a whole lot better: Edgar Wright, for example, probably would have done some cutting homage stuff with a kind of dark social twist, were he not beholden to someone else's story; Michael Cera was probably instructed by higher-ups to keep the awkward stuff, even though I hear that the character in the comics is supposed to be a super-cool dude instead of lovably awkward; and I have yet to read the comics, but I have a sneaking suspicion that they're even more wildness and less traditional talk.

But hey, criticism isn't fun unless it's panning something really bad, and this movie wasn't really bad. If you lose yourself in the alternate universe, it's actually quite fun: Michael Cera apparently knows all sorts of action moves, Toronto is a place where it's kind of concrete-y and dark a whole lot but also has a thriving video game reality thingy, and there's even a question of alternate realities that pops up near the end, if you pay attention (I actually missed the last two minutes, for full disclosure's sake, so something awesome may have happened, but I had reached the point where I could see what was going to go down and had pressing business to take care of). But you know what? I'm going to contradict my earlier statements right now. If a movie could have been greater, everyone involved deserves dudes like me posting semi-pro reviews telling them what went wrong and how. So here's the deal: fill out character backstories. I wanted to know more about Scott and the drummer girl from his band, and really wanted to hang out with those characters. More of the gay roommate: he was really funny and a kind of mentor-type dude. If you're gonna meld video game reality and awkward teen emotion movies, go all the way with the video game stuff and then we'll forgive the whining: yeah, that pretty much says it. Think about how much more entertaining Juno would have been if it was all in 2D and progressed by levels; that could have been "Scott Pilgrim." And Michael Cera: if you hope to work as an actor past the age of 25, you're gonna have to diversify your characters, champ. I loved you as George Michael, we all did. It's just that, unless it's for the Arrested Development movie, it's time to play other characters. The indie kids are dying, evolutionarily displaced by hipster scum. We are starting to live in days of cruel ironic detachment or bro-ish over-enthusiasm. You can lead us in the next step, Michael Cera, by breaking from the shy and cutely awkward schtick. Play a bastard with an icy-black heart, someone who kicks puppies and drives a BMW (BMW drivers are dicks). Play a remote and emotionally traumatized war vet, struggling to reconnect with his family (the AD movie? Twenty years after the events seen in the TV show? Make it happen). Play someone new, Michael Cera, and respect will come flowing in. I know that people will always be awkward, and that the indie kids in retrospect were infinitely preferable to these new-fangled hipsters (indie kids: charmingly optimistic and dreamy. Hipsters: dicks), and that innocence and wonder and joy will never die out. As long as there are people, there will be awkward relationships, shy boys and headstrong girls, and all the other staples our generation has come to accept from you. But let someone else lead the charge, Michael Cera. Become the spurned ninja assassin that Scott Pilgrim should have been. I'll be waiting for that moment. Until then, I'll keep watching your enjoyable teen movies. Just expect more of the same from me.